There is a fine line difference between the (deemed) 40% of the adult population who are shy as opposed to those who are just plain uncomfortable in their surroundings. Have you ever attended a party or gala and found yourself feeling very alone even with a host of personalities to choose from with whom to interact?
I have and I do on many occasions. At one time I could be classified as extremely shy, but as years go on I am less shy and infinitely more particular. I find it very difficult to connect on any level other than a polite social one at most times, which is ultimately quite unsatisfying. I know I’m not alone in this thought.
Perhaps it is just wishful thinking to expect to connect with a like-minded person in a party setting. Maybe it is all I can come to expect from social situations.
One event comes to mind often that reminds me that all is not lost, but rather sometimes just hidden in plain sight. I had attended a winter gala, also known as a Christmas party for all to indulge and enjoy. All evening, out of throngs of opportunities to meet and connect, no one did, especially not me. I was far from uncomfortable in my own skin; on the contrary actually and yet there I was singularly alone in my quest to have fun, and reach out to find a soulmate for interest’s sake if nothing else.
I ended up outside (smoking 🙂 ) when I finally connected. He was the bouncer, an ex-US marine who had kindly offered me his coat, seeing that I was under-dressed for the low temperature that night. I politely declined, preferring to shiver my way though the next ten minutes which then turned into thirty. There were several conversations going on but none that caught my attention. The bouncer caught it though and my curiousity. I remember thinking he must have some great stories and wondered if he would divulge any. I wondered why, of all people, he took note of my existence. That voice inside told me there had to be a reason. We were hardly two peas in a pod.
It ended up he did have a story. One that touched my very soul and one that has stayed with me to this day, two and a half years later. He started by speaking of the motto: Leave No Man Behind, and ended his story with ‘but what of leaving a child behind as she stands over her dead mother, screaming.’ Our connection was complete. Our conversation continued and my night was not lost afterall.
One young man asked me what ‘the jughead’ had to say. I immediately thought of the comic strip, Archie, where Jughead was the dumb mechanic. I told the guy he wasn’t a jughead, he was a US marine! He took delight in telling me it was one in the same. No wonder I couldn’t connect with anyone that night. From that moment forward, I didn’t bother trying. I much rathered staying alone in that crowded room.
The marine’s (David) story has been knitted into my work in progress. He needed to be heard and I needed to listen.
So the next time there is not a living soul that appeals to you, have a peek around and see if you can find your ‘David’ in the crowd.
Lesley Fletcher is a writer (freelance, books, content, lyrics,stage plays) as well as a visual artist specializing in monoprints. To learn more about her please visit the tabs here on WordPress at http://InspirationImport.Wordpress.com or her website at http://www.LesleyFletcher.com
This blog is an accompaniment to her book 5 PILLARS OF THE GYPSY and a starting ground for her next books.
5 Pillars of the Gypsy is widely available ( Amazon.com, .ca, .uk) in e-book format for less than $2.00 USD. Amazon now provides a wonderful FREE Kindle reading app for your computer, phone or tablet. Please click on the title to be directed to Amazon. If you read and like 5 PILLARS OF THE GYPSY consider leaving a quick review – much appreciated! Thanks.